IVIG 17 - Where Carey Vents

I didn't want to post about last weeks IVIG.  I am pretty sick of IVIG.  There is no doubt about that.  And, I don't want lots of sympathy or "Oh Carey, your life is so hard" comments (for all the three people who read this blog...) But, I do want there to be an accurate record of what happens every Friday so I remember it for next time :)

I am sick of it.  I think anyone in my shoes would be.  I try my hardest to make the best of going...Really, to be honest, being at the hospital not terrible. The nurses are wonderful, they share chocolate with me, they know I know the drill and try to make it as easy as possible for me.  They don't bug me unless they have to do something with the IV and they are always making sure I am comfortable.  I get a lunch even though it is not always great, it always has a good fruit cup and that I appreciate because I have been craving a lot of fruit recently.  Last week I got no sandwich and two bowls of fruit....These are no joke bowls (not like fruit in a cup (ie. jello) it's raspberries, strawberries, melon, etc), and I ate it all.  It was delicious.

Things I don't like about Friday's:

• I spend all day at an infusion center getting nothing done. (OK, re-reading this now, I spend a lot of time in prayer, doing devotions, reading, etc.  I do get things done, just I would rather be home playing)
• I come home exhausted.
• I miss Abby and feel like I am taking advantage of a friend (even though I KNOW she doesn't see it that way - and she will be mad at me for writing this)
• I am exhausted all weekend when I want to spend time with Steve.  This weekend I took two naps when Abby was sleeping and was in bed by 8:45 both Friday and Saturday night.
• I get headaches, not as bad as before and I haven't had to take a pill, but they are still there.
• Part of this is getting food poisioning/the flu (I'm not convinced as to what it was two weeks ago) but I have lost more weight than I would have like to have lost at 30.5 weeks pregnant (meeting with the doctor on Wednesday - hopefully).  Loosing weight right now doesn't make sense, I get at least 4 lbs. of fluid pumped into me every Friday and am on a steroid that has side effects of "gaining weight" and "water retention" and I have lost more weight these last two weeks than I have EVER lost on any diet in my life.  I should be happy about that right?
• I just feel pretty crummy most of the time.  I think it could be the combination of the Prednisone/IVIG. Prednisone weakens my immune system completely and I don't know if I just can't fight stuff off like I used to or what (my body is kind of a work horse, I can pretty much eat whatever I want and I usually don't get sick - I was a teacher for goodness sake, my immune system is sharp).  I wash my hands about 800 times a day and they are super dry because of it.  That doesn't seem to help.
• There are so many things that I did when I was pregnant with Abby that I can't do now and I feel pretty helpless (while pregnant with Abby I ran a 5K at 30 weeks...This time I am lucky to walk for 20 minutes).  I am so glad Steve is around to take care of things.  He carries in all the groceries, takes out the trash, moves boxes, lifts things, hangs things, sets up things, carries the laundry upstairs, the list goes on and on.  He has been incredible and doesn't give me one bit of grief for not doing the things I normally do.
• I feel "myself" about one day a week.  That is usually Wednesday or Thursday.  That is the day I get stuff done, can rest all night long, and feel like the "old Carey" is back. 

I guess this is all to say that I am a little down.  I think mainly because I am frustrated that there is not an "end" in sight like there was before...I am hoping that Steve and I can get some clarification as to when the doctors feel this baby girl should make her grand entrance.  Last time we went to the doctor the story changed and that was really frustrating to us.  Based on the research I (and my MI doctor) have done, it looks like starting a lung developing steroid at 35 weeks is the way to go....Then we check to see if the lungs are developed, if they are, baby comes out!  That seems to be the safest route.  We will see.

I don't feel like I am some amazing mom for doing this....ANY mom would!  And I don't like to complain about it because, really, I am floored at the fact that there is medicine that can prevent all the complications we had when Abby was born.  I am so grateful for the doctors who have researched this to make BK2s first week/year of life/future easier than Abby's.  

With all my complaining on the blog today, I am still going to IVIG, still taking prednisone, and still marching on with this process.  It is a GOOD process.  It is the Lord's way of saying I am taking care of YOU and THIS BABY GIRL. She is is in good hands, the best hands and for that I am very thankful.

Thanks for reading my "vents" today.  It will get better and this baby girl will be here before we know it!